The Beginning

Loss. Despair. Grief. Depression. Anxiety. All of these are part of everyday conversation and yet at the same time they are seen as disorders of the weak. Those of us suffering with these conditions are told to push through, be strong, or in a more straightforward way “suck it up”. Why?

Because there is no understanding from those that have never had to struggle with these conditions. Your therapist, psychiatrist, or other professionals may have education but most do not have first hand experience fighting on the front lines of mental health disorders. Half of the diagnosing is a guessing game and medication experiments. We are told “lets try this medication and if that does not work we can try this one in addition to it, increase the dosage , or maybe try another one all together.

I have seen primary care providers, psychiatric providers, therapists, and everything in between. I had a provider that put me on 4 medications at one time and made it so that I was so blunted that for the first time in my life I resigned from a job and after being verbally bashed by the supervisor I not only remained silent but walked out with a big smile on my face. I also have gone through the battle of weaning myself off those meds (please do not ever try this without the advice and oversight of a medical professional) during which time I entered a brief period of suicidal thoughts. 

One thing I can tell you is the few things that pulled me through all of this are my beloved wife who stood beside me through it all because I was open with her despite wanting nothing more than to pull away from everyone and journaling. There are a million and one ways that you can get through these times and each of us is different.

I want to give you a couple of exercises that I know have helped me. Yes they are prompts but you don’t have to write a single word so long as you can work through these in your mind though that is substantially harder for the majority of people that I have spoken with.

Exercise 1)

The 5 whys: Take a single point that you are bothered by and proceed to dive 5 levels into it. I have an example below. This may seem odd and pointless but at least give it a try. 

Example: I am not able to keep a job.

Why 1) I keep quitting

Why 2) I get irritate and feel undervalued

Why 3) I am questioned about things that I do and micro managed

Why 4) My supervisor thinks I need additional attention or education

Why 5) I have only been at the job a short time -OR- There were recent changes in the systems/policies

For this example you can see how the problem is linked back to a misinterpretation of someone else’s actions and not what I would consider a legitimate reason for quitting a job.

Exercise 2) 

Could it be worse: Pick a specific problem thought you are having and then proceed to evaluate if the situation could be worse and if so how. This is a sobering exercise that really hones in on the “what if…” negative thought spirals.

Example: I can’t take care of my family without having a job.

Could it be worse: My wife could lose her job and then we would not have an income. If I had no experience to fall back on I would not be eligible for most job openings. We could have a massive mortgage. We could have more mouths to feed than just the two of us. I could be unable to hunt due to my bum ankle meaning less meat in our freezer.

Lets Wrap this up.

These are two exercises that I personally not only use but enjoy. The examples given are actually based on my life with a few minor changes. I have returned to theses time and time again as well as others I will share later and they have been integral to my coping with daily life as someone that has severe depression and anxiety.

If you take nothing else away from this I hope you will remember this last little tidbit. No matter what you are facing there are a million and one techniques for handling it. The only one who knows what is going to work for you is you. Now medically there may be things that are recommended but regardless there are absolutely no guarantees when it comes to this part of life other than the fact that we have to face it because we cannot outrun it.